Even More Phantom Song Parodies
by PhantomBialystock
Summary: Yet even more song parodies. My main focus will be parodies of showtunes and Gilbert and Sullivan songs, though I may do other genres. Now up, Christine, a parody of Sandy from Grease.
1. So Long, Phantom

A/N: This is my first song parody, and I'm sorry if I'm a little hard on Erik. It won't be like that in all of the songs. The words just seemed to fit so well with the situation. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**

**So Long, Phantom - Parody of "So Long, Dearie" from Hello, Dolly!**

_Christine sings to Erik as the mob approaches and she leaves:_

_Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye, Goodbyeeeee, Goodbye!_

_Goodbye, Goodbye!_

_Don't try to stop me, Erik, please!_

_Wave your little hand and sing out, "So long, Phantom."_

_I ain't gonna be done here no more!_

_And when you discover that your life's so lonely,_

_Don't you come with your lasso at my door!_

_Because I'll be with Raoul_

_and singing that song that says, "You creep! I told you so!"_

_So wave your little hand and sing out, "So long, Phantom."_

_Phantom, should have said so long so long ago!_

_Because you took me prisoner and treated me so rough,_

_I've had enough,_

_Of feeling blue!_

_So wave your little hand and sing out, "So long, Phantom."_

_Phantom, should have said so long so long ago!_

_For I can hear those wedding bells calling me on to a fancy new address._

_For I can hear those wedding bells calling me on to the happiness express!_

_I'm gonna go have some fun with Raoul that I won't regret!_

_I'm going as far away from this dungeon as a girl can get!_

_So . . ._

_(spoken)_

_And on those cold winter nights, Erik,_

_You can cuddle up to your organ._

_At least it will _remind_ you of me!_

_(Sung)_

_Don't come a-knocking on my new front door_

_and singing that song that says, "You creep! I told you so!"_

_So, Erik, you'll find your life a sad old story!_

_You'll be living this dreary territory!_

_When you see your Christine shoving off to glory!_

_Oh, I should have said so long!_

_How could I have been wrong?_

_Oh, I should have said so looooooooong . . ._

_(pants for breath)_

_So looooooong agooooooooooooooooooo!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Please review, and if you have any suggestions I'll gladly take them. I'm probably going to do a lot of showtunes, considering that's what pretty much all I have in my Ipod and all I listen to. Just know I don't know every showtune in the world, and if I don't do know it, I probably won't use it. :)


	2. Two

A/N: I do not own Phantom or Chorus Line.**

* * *

**

**Two - A Parody of _One_ from _A Chorus Line_**

_Christine:_

_Two_

_Singular sensations_

_Every little step they take._

_Two_

_Thrilling men I love_

_Every move that they make._

_One note and suddenly no one but Erik will do!_

_And then I'll never be lonely with Raoul, but there's_

_Two!_

_Fighting for my love._

_But I can't forget the rest._

_For one guy is second-best_

_But who?_

_Who?_

_Who? Who?_

_They both want my attention._

_Do I really have to mention_

_They're the two!_

_They walk into the room and I know_

_They're uncommonly rare_

_Very unique_

_I don't want to choose 'cause I think I would weep._

_They walk into the room_

_And I know from them_

_They're both so great_

_Don't want to make a mistake_

_They're two special men strolling._

_Can't help_

_Thinking one choice's more rewarding._

_The only way I could choose is if I pulled a name from a hat,_

_They walk into the room and I know that_

_Living with Erik means lots of rats._

_Living with Raoul's the opposite of that!_

_This is what I call battling._

_Which of the two _

_Can't I get enough of?_

_Enough of?_

_The problem is they're both one of a kind!_

_Two!_

_Singular sensations_

_Every little step they take._

_Two _

_Thrilling men I love_

_Every move that they make._

_One note and suddenly no one but Erik will do._

_And then I'll never be lonely with Raoul, but there's_

_Two!_

_Fighting for my love._

_But I can't forget the rest._

_For one guy is second-best._

_But who?_

_Who?_

_Who? Who?_

_They both want my attention._

_Do I really have to mention_

_They're theeeeeeeee_

_They're theeeeeeeee_

_They're theeeeeeee twoooooo!_


	3. Near the Stage Where You Sing

**Near the Stage Where You Sing - A Parody of _On the Street Where You Live_ From _My Fair Lady_**

_Raoul, by the stage in the Opera Populaire, sings:_

_I have often been_

_Near this stage before_

_But the carpet always stayed beneath my feet before_.

_All at once am I_

_Several towers high_

_Knowing I'm near the stage where you sing._

_All the maple trees_

_Are in the heart of town._

_You can hear a bird in all those little parks in town._

_But this is where I gather_

_Because I'd much rather_

_Be right here near the stage where you sing._

_The overpowering feeling,_

_Just to know sometimes you sing here._

_An overpowering feeling_

_That any second your voice will suddenly appear._

_People stop and laugh._

_They don't bother me._

_For there's no place else in France that I would rather be._

_Let a month go by!_

_I don't care if I_

_Can be here near the stage where you sing._

(For a few seconds, some music comes from the pit orchestra that's rehearsing, then the singing resumes):

_People stop and laugh._

_They don't bother me._

_For there's no place else in France that I would rather be._

_Let a year go by!_

_I don't care if I_

_Can be here near the stage where you sing!_


	4. One Short Night

A/N: In case anyone hasn't read the Phantom of the Opera book, Philippe is Raoul's older brother.

I do not own Phantom of the Opera or Wicked

**

* * *

One Short Night - A Parody of _One Short Day_ from _Wicked_**

Philippe and Raoul are walking down the street, then:

Philippe, spoken:_ Let's go to the Opera Populaire!_

Crowd of people walking down the street: _One short night in the Op'ra Populaire!_

Raoul, spoken: _I love the Opera!_

Crowd:_ One short night in the Op'ra Populaire!_

_One short night in the Op'ra Populaire._

_One short night_

_Full of so much to see._

_Everywhere that you look in the op'ra_

_There's something exquisite._

_You won't want to miss it_

_Before the night's through._

Philippe: _There's statues as tall as big oak trees!_

Raoul: _One big stage._

Philippe: _Curtains to see._

Raoul:_ Cellos._

Philippe:_ And Flutes._

Both:_ And things that toot!_

Philippe: _There's acting like I've never seen._

Raoul:_ It's all grand!_

Philippe: _It's not obscene!_

Both: _I think we've found the place that we belong!_

_I want to burst out into song!_

Philippe: _So we'll be back again someday._

Raoul:_ To see a show and take Christine away._

Both: _But for today we'll sit down and enjoy!_

Crowd: _One short night at the Op'ra Populaire!_

_One short night to have a lifetime of fun._

_One short night._

Raoul:_ And I'm warning the Phantom_

_Now that I'm in here_

_I'll find Christine somewhere_

_Before the year's done!_

(By now, the crowd, Raoul, and Philippe are by the doors of the Opera).

Philippe, spoken: _Come on! We'll be late for _Hannibal!

(They rush in, giving a man at the door their tickets. Raoul and Philippe hurry to their private box while the crowd go to different seats in the theater. A crowd of singers comes out on stage, which includes Christine):

Singers:_ Who're the guys_

_Who run these shows so fabulous._

_Aren't they just fantabulous? _

_Who're the guys who_

_Run the op'ra you're about to see!_

_Who put up with obnoxious divas?_

_It's a wonder they didn't leave-a_

_Woo-ooo-ooo!_

_Aren't they just wonderful?_

_Wonderful managers?_

(Andre and Firmin come out on the stage just as everyone in the Opera sings):

Everyone but Andre and Firmin:_ One short night in the Op'ra Populaire!_

_One short night to have a lifetime of fun!_

_Can't believe_

_We are seeing this op'ra!_

Philippe and Raoul:_ Where so many go to._

_Right near our home, too._

_And then just like now we can say_

_We're just to brothers._

Raoul: _Two good brothers._

Philippe:_ Two great brothers._

Everyone but Andre and Firmin: _Sharing one wonderful one short . . ._

Andre and Firmin, spoken to singers: _Break a leg_!

Everyone but Andre and Firmin: _Night!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think of these parodies so far. It would be good to get a request, too, so I'm not just guessing what showtunes you like. :)


	5. Memory

A/N: I don't own The Phantom of the Opera or Cats**

* * *

**

**Memory - A parody of _Memory_ from _Cats_**

Erik:

_Midnight._

_Not a sound from the theater._

_As I look in the mirror_

_And I see my own face._

_In the candlelight _

_I think about this horrible place_

_And that hard fight_

_For her love._

_Memory._

_All alone in the sewers._

_Thinking only about her_

_And the love that I have._

_I can't remember a time I knew what happiness was._

_Let my memories_

_Live again._

_Every candle_

_Seems to taunt me_

_Telling me I won't win._

_But I think diff'rent then them._

_I say no way!_

_There will soon be a day_

_When Christine is mine!_

_Daylight._

_I never do see it._

_Down here it is only night._

_It's always so dark._

_The only light_

_Is from the candles' sparks._

_But a new day_

_Won't be this way._

_A life with her_

_Will be much more_

_Than living in this sewer!_

_She means everything_

_And the way that she sings_

_Is enough_

_For me to love her!_

_Love me!_

_Christine, please just love me!_

_Even though I may bring you_

_Horrible memories._

_I promise it will not be like it was before._

_Please come back._

_Just once more._

_

* * *

_

A/N: I'd like to thank The Child Writing Prodigy for requesting a parody of Memory. Are there any more anyone would like to see? Just tell me.


	6. That's So Erik!

A/N: First of all, I'd like to than PhantomPhanGirl91 for this request. Secondly, I do not own eiter Phantom or That's So Raven.**

* * *

**

**That's So Erik - A parody of the _That's So Raven_ theme song**

Erik and a bunch of pop stars are on the Opera Populaire's stage:

Erik: _If you could live inside the sewers_

_You might think life's a bit obscene!_

_Living with all those big rats._

_You're right, it's not that easy._

_I try to live a normal life_

_But it never seems like it's just right!_

Pop Singers: _That's so Erik!_

Erik: _I take my lasso, then I see . . ._

Pop Singers: _That's so Erik!_

Erik: _Everybody's after me!_

Pop Singers: _That's so Erik!_

Erik: _I take Christine but then I see . . ._

Pop Singers: _That's so Erik!_

Erik: _That Raoul is after me!_

Pop Singers: _Yeahhhhhhhhh!_

Erik: _Yep, that's me!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: I'd like to thank The Child Writing Prodigy, Hemione Vader, ponine-cosette, and Phantom's Beauty for the reviews.


	7. Defying Newton's Laws

A/N: I'd like to thank Hermione Vader for this request, and incase you're wondering, no, I don't own either Wicked or Phantom.**

* * *

**

**Defying Newton's Laws - A parody of _Defying Gravity_ from _Wicked_ **

After Erik has taken Christine back to his house by the lake, right after _Down Once More_, Christine cries out:

Christine, spoken: _Erik! Why couldn't you have stayed calm for once?_

_Instead of relying on your lasso?_

(Sung) _I hope you're happy!_

_I hope you're happy now!_

_I hope you're happy how you've lost me for forever!_

_I hope you think that's clever!_

_I hope you're happy!_

Erik:_ I hope you're happy, too!_

_I hope you're proud how you would choose Raoul over me!_

_To think he is the key!_

Both: _So though I can't imagine how,_

_I hope you're happy right now!_

Erik, spoken: _Christine,_

_Listen to me._

_Just tell me you love me._

(Sung) _You can still live down here with me._

_What I've hoped and waited for._

_They'll be more music than you wanted!_

Christine: _I know, but I don't want it._

_No._

_I can't want it anymore._

_The choice I made is different._

_You just don't seem the same._

_I'm sick of playing by the rules of your real crazy game._

_Too late for second thoughts._

_Too late to go back to sleep._

_It's time to trust my choices_

_Close my eyes_

_And speed!_

_It's time to try defying Newton's laws!_

_I think I'll try defying Newton's laws. _

_And you can't slow me down!_

Erik:_ Can't I make you understand?_

_Your choices are the wrong ones to make!_

Christine: _I'm through accepting limits_

_Because you said they're so._

_Your life may never change_

_But mine will change, I'll tell you so!_

_Too long I've been afraid of_

_My angel's love gone and lost!_

_But if that's love,_

_It comes at much too high a cost!_

_So now I'll try defying Newton's laws._

_Say your good-byes._

_I'm defying Newton's laws!_

_And you can't slow me down!_

Erik, spoken: _Christine, stay with me. Think of what we could do together!_

(Sung)_ Unlimited._

_Together we're unlimited._

_Together we're the best musicians there's ever been!_

_Christine,_

_Dreams, the way we planned them._

_If we work together._

Both: _There's no song we cannot sing!_

_Just you and I,_

_Defying Newton's laws!_

_With you and I,_

_defying Newton's laws!_

_They'll never slow us down!_

Erik, spoken: _So, are you staying?_

(Christine shakes her head).

Erik:_ I hope you're happy_

_Now that you're choosing this._

Christine: _Me too._

_I hope it brings me bliss._

Both: _I really hope you get it_

_And you don't live to regret it!_

_I hope you're happy in the end!_

_I hope you're happy, _

_My friend!_

Christine: _So if you try to find me_

_Don't look around here, no!_

_This isn't the place for me._

_Because I tried, I will now know!_

_And now that I know that,_

_I know Raoul is for me!_

_Maybe I will come back,_

_But just for a visit, 'cause see,_

_Right now I'll try defying Newton's laws._

_I'm running fast,_

_Defying Newton's laws._

_And soon I'll be married to Raoul!_

_And nobody in all of France_

_No phantom who lives with the ants_

_Is ever gonna slow meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee down!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Please review! Are there any more requests out there? I'll gladly take them!


	8. I'm Not That Man

A/N: Thanks to The Child Writing Prodigy for this request. I don't own Wicked or Phantom.**

* * *

**

**I'm Not That Man - A parody of _I'm Not That Girl_ from _Wicked_**

After Christine and Raoul have left him and the mob has left, Erik sits at his organ singing:

_Hands touch._

_Eyes meet._

_A sudden feeling_

_Sudden heat._

_I love her_

_So terribly an'_

_She may be that girl_

_But I'm not that man._

_I dreamed too far._

_Don't lose sight of who you are._

_She mean so much._

_She means the world._

_She may be that girl_

_I'm not that man._

_Every so often I long to steal_

_Her back and know what might have been._

_Nothing can soften the ache that I feel._

_Reality has set back in._

_Can't smile._

_Can't grin._

_He wins her._

_She wins him._

_Brown hair without any curls._

_That's the man she chose_

_And Heaven knows_

_I'm not that man._

_I wished._

_Don't start._

_Wishing only broke my heart._

_I was born for people to ban._

_There's a man I know._

_He loves her so._

_I'm not that man._

_

* * *

_

A/N: Thanks to IPFcannon, PhantomPhanGirl91, and anyone else who reviewed!


	9. Welcome to my Life

A/N: Thank you, LonesomeGurlAngelofDeath, for this request.**

* * *

**

**Welcome To My Life - A parody of_ Welcome To My Life _by Simple Plan**

Erik, addressing Christine:

_Have I ever felt like breaking down?_

_Boy have I been out of place._

_Like somehow I just don't belong,_

_And no one understands me._

_Have I ever wanted to run away?_

_Yes, I lock myself in my house_

_Playing my organ_

_And it's so darn loud_

_So I can't hear my screaming._

_No one knows just what it's like_

_When nothing goes alright._

_No one knows what it's like to be like me._

_To be hurt._

_To be lost._

_When you're left out in the dark._

_To be left_

_When you're down._

_To feel like you are pushed around._

_To be on the cliff of breaking down_

_When no one's there to help you._

_No you don't know what it's like._

_Welcome to my life!_

_Do I want to live somewhere else?_

_Am I sick of being so left out?_

_Am I desperate to have something more_

_Before this life is over?_

_Am I stuck with a fate I hate?_

_Am I sick of everyone around?_

_With the violent ways_

_And my large lassos,_

_But I'm the one who's bleeding!_

_No, you don't know what it's like_

_When nothing goes alright._

_You don't know what it's like_

_To be like me._

_To be hurt._

_To be lost._

_To be left out in the dark._

_To be left_

_When you're down._

_To feel like you are pushed around._

_To be on the cliff of breaking down_

_When no one's there to help you._

_No you don't know what it's like._

_Welcome to my life!_

_No one ever lies straight in your face!_

_Has anyone ever stabbed you in the back?_

_It may seem that I'm happy_

_But I doubt I'll be okay!_

_No one's ever gave me what I needed._

_Even if I worked, it was never there!_

_You don't know what it's like,_

_What it's like_

_To be hurt._

_To be lost._

_To be left out in the dark._

_To be left_

_When you're down._

_To feel like you are pushed around._

_To be on the cliff of breaking down_

_When no one's there to help you._

_No you don't know what it's like._

_Welcome to my life!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Thank you to PhantomPhanGirl91 for the review. Please tell me if there are any more songs you'd like to see.


	10. My Iced Coffee

A/N: Thanks for this idea, Phantom's Beauty. I'm a former veggietales fanatic, so this is for all of the veggie fans out there!**

* * *

**

**My Iced Coffee - A parody of _His Cheeseburger_ from Veggietales.**

Erik is in front of a Dunk'n Donuts shop, singing:

_I said to her, "I'd like an iced coffee._

"_And I might like a donut with that."_

_She said to me, "I can't get you either."_

_And I said, "Isn't this Dunk'n Donuts?"_

_She said, "France, it just may run on Dunk'n._

"_But we don't open tomorrow 'til ten."_

_I said "I'm in the need for some caffeine._

"_But I guess I can wait until then!"_

'_Cause you're my iced coffee._

_My tasty iced coffee._

_I'll wait for you-oo._

_Yay, I'll wait for you-oo._

_Oh, you are my iced coffee._

_My yummy iced coffee._

_I'll wait for you-oo._

_Oh, I will wait for you._

_I stayed at the counter 'til sunrise._

_I may have dozed off once or twice._

_Then I spotted a sign for their smoothies!_

_Wildberry was half price._

_How could I resist such an offer?_

_I always wanted to try just one._

_Iced coffee, please do not get angry!_

_I will order you with my lunch!_

'_Cause you're my iced coffee._

_My precious iced coffee._

_Be back for you-oo._

_I'll be back for you-oo._

_Oh, so long iced coffee._

_My caramel iced coffee._

_Be back for you-oo._

_Oh, I'll be back for you!_

'_Cause I love you iced coffee with all of my heart!_

_And not even jelly donuts will tear us apart!_

_And if the world suddenly ran out of coffee._

_I would get down on my hands and knees_

_To see if someone dropped a coffee bean in the dirt._

_And I would wash it off for you._

_Wipe it off for you._

_Clean that dirty bean off just for you!_

(Pants for breath)

_You are my iced coffeeeeeeeee!_


	11. It Takes A Phantom

**It Takes a Phantom - A parody of _It Takes a Woman_ from _Hello, Dolly._**

Andre and Firmin are in there office reading letters of complaint from different people, when Andre begins to sing:

_It takes a phantom_

_The mask and all_

_To joyously wreck our Masquerade Ball._

_And it takes a devil_

_With a distorted face_

_And a horrible smile_

_For destroying the place!_

_Yes, it takes a phantom._

_An evil phantom._

_The devil who began this strife!_

Andre and Firmin, getting up and dancing:_ Oh yes, it takes a phantom._

_A psycho phantom._

_To bring you the bad things in life!_

Andre: _A demanding phantom_

_Who's constantly there_

_For giving us orders_

_And giving a scare._

_And it takes a phantom_

_For hanging a few men_

_And stealing our horses_

_And stealing my new pen!_

(Spoken): My poor pen.

Both: _Yes, it takes a phantom._

_An evil phantom._

_The devil who began this strife!_

_Oh yes, it takes a phantom._

_A psycho phantom_

_To bring you the bad things in life!_

_And so he'll haunt us 'til infinity._

_Three boos for revenge-inity!_

_We hate revenge-inity!_

Andre, spoken: Is that even a word?

Firmin, spoken: Of course not!

(Sung) _And every month, he'll demand our francs!_

_And put them in his own little bank!_

_He's a curse on us two,_

'_Cause practically speaking_

_For whom do we blame when the plumbing is leaking?_

Both: _Blame that evil phantom._

_That psycho phantom._

_That devil who began this strife!_

_This horrible strife!_

_Oh yes, it takes a phantom._

Andre: _A psycho phantom._

Both: _To bring you the bad things in liiiiiiiiife!_

_Oh yes, it takes a phantom._

_An evil phantom._

_That devil who began this strife!_

_Oh yes, it takes a phantom._

_A psycho phantom_

_To bring you the bad things in liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Thank you, Zelda,AngelicFlutist, and all the others who reviewed.


	12. A Heart Full of Love

A/N: Excuse me for not putting in Eponine's lines.**

* * *

**

**A Heart Full of Love - A parody of _A Heart Full of Love _from _Les Miserables_**

Raoul, in Christine's dressing room, begins to sing:

_A heart full of love._

_You sung such a great song._

_I'm doing everything all wrong!_

_Oh God, for shame_

_Do you remember my name?_

_My dear Christine,_

_Won't you say?_

_Won't you say?_

Christine: _A heart full of love._

_Your name is not one I regret._

Raoul: _So you remember that I am Raoul?_

Christine: _Didn't forget._

Raoul: _Christine, I don't know what to say._

Christine: _Then make no sound._

Raoul: _I was lost._

Christine: _But you're found._

Raoul: _A heart full of love._

Christine: _You're as bright as day._

Raoul: _Christine, please never go away!_

_Christine, Christine_

_My love's a chain they'll never break._

_Do I dream?_

Christine: _You're awake._

Raoul: _A heart full of love._

_A heart full of you._

_A single glance and then I knew._

Christine: _I knew it too._

Raoul: _From today._

Christine: _Ev'ry day._

Both: _We do not dream!_

_Not a dream after all!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!


	13. Paris, France

**A/N: Incase anyone hasn't read the novel, Christine grew up in Sweden, which is the basis of this song.**

**Paris, France - A parody of the Green Acres Theme Song**

Raoul: _Paris, France is the place for me!_

_Big cities are the life for me!_

_The towers and op'ra by my side!_

_Christine, I love you, but give me the city's side!_

Christine _Sweden is where I'd rather stay!_

_I won't get allergic smelling hay._

_Paris may be great, but I'm telling you,_

_Darling I love you but give me that ocean blue!_

Raoul: _The French!_

Christine: _No stench!_

Raoul: _The stores!_

Christine: _The shores!_

Raoul: _You are my wife!_

Christine: _Goodbye, Swedish life!_

Both: _Paris, France we are there!_

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it! I'm sorry to anyone that submitted a request; either I didn't know the song or I couldn't think of a way to make it a Phantom parody. Hopefully someone will give me a request of a song I know!**


	14. Recorded Love

**A/N: Thanks once again to Phantom's Beauty for this request.**

**Recorded Love - A parody of _Endangered Love_ from a Veggietales episode**

Raoul is spying on Christine and Erik through a TV, which a secret camera is set up to from the sewers.

Raoul: _Oh my dear Christine._

_You are the girl for me._

_Sent from up above._

_You are the one I love._

Erik: _Don't cry, my Christine._

_You're such a nice woman._

_I am a real big fan!_

_But I must write this opera to do noble things for the good of all_

_And you can't help because you only speak French!_

_Au revoir!_

Christine: _But if you leave, Erik_

_Who will take me to the ball?_

_It is the Masquerade Ball, Erik!_

_I have a costume and shoes_

_And some very nice lipstick!_

_Who will take me to the ball?_

Raoul: _I'll take you to the ball, Christine!_

Christine: _Please don't go!_

Erik: _I must!_

Christine: _Don't!_

Erik: _Must!_

Christine: _Don't, Don't!_

Erik: _Must, must._

Raoul: _Oh my dear Christine!_

_You are the girl for me._

_Sent from up above!_

_You are the one I love._

_Oh my dear Christine!_

_I'll be your monami._

_We will go to the ball._

_I know you're not too tall._

Christine, spoken: _Erik, I've learned Spanish!_

Erik, spoken: _You have?_

Christine, spoken: _Si!_

Erik: _Oh yes, my Christine!_

_I always knew you could_

_So I hoped you would!_

_Now we can write that opera and do noble things for the good of all!_

Christine: _Sure, but first, will you take me to the ball?_

_Oh, Erik_

_Will you take me to the ball?_

Erik, spoken: _I don't have a costume._

Christine, spoken: _You don't?_

Erik, spoken: _No._

Christine: _I must go!_

Erik: _Please don't go!_

Christine: _I must!_

Erik: _Don't go!_

Christine: _I must!_

Erik: _Don't!_

Christine: _Must!_

Erik: _Don't, don't!_

Christine: _Must, must!_

Raoul: _Oh my dear Christine!_

_You are the gir-_

(Philippe enters the room)

Philippe, spoken: _Raoul, what are you doing?_

Raoul, spoken: _Just plotting revenge on Erik, Philippe._

Philippe, spoken: _Well, maybe you should read a book._

Raoul, spoken: _Yeah. Good idea_. (Hepicks up Victor Hugo's _Les Miserables_ off of a table. Philippe leaves.)

Erik: _Christine, I got a costume!_

Christine: _Oh, Erik._


	15. The Managers Who Don't Do Anything

**A/N: I never knew so many people liked Veggietales! Thanks for the idea, Hermione Vadar! (Sorry if I spelt that wrong.)**

**The Managers Who Don't Do Anything - A parody of _The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything_ from a Veggietales episode.**

Andre and Firmin are in their office in two easy chairs, singing:

_We are the managers who don't do anything!_

_We just take some naps in easy chairs!_

_And if you ask us to do anything,_

_We'll just tell you . . ._

Firmin: _We don't do anything._

Andre: _Well, I've never been to Iceland_

_And I've never been to Fuji_

_And I've never been to Hollywood to get a little fame_

_And I've never been to England_

_And I've never been to Brazil_

_And I've never seen a Boston Red Sox game!_

Both: _'Cause we're the managers who don't do anything!_

_We just take some naps in easy chairs!_

_And if you ask us to do anything,_

_We'll just tell you . . ._

Andre: _We don't do anything._

Firmin: _And I've never put on Les Mis_

_And I've never put on Rent_

_And I never did Chicago cause I won't get any fame_

_And I never put on Wicked_

_Or Fiddler on the Roof_

_And I've never seen a Boston Red Sox game!_

Both: _'Cause we're the managers who don't do anything._

_We just take some naps in easy chairs!_

_And if you ask us to do anything_

_We'll just tell you . . ._

Firmin: _We don't do anything._

Andre: _Well, I never killed a rooster_

_And I'm not too good at football_

_And I've never watched Judge Judy 'cause the verdicts are all the same_

_And I've never met Da Vinci_

_Or read about his code_

_And I've never seen a Boston Red Sox game!_

Firmin: Huh? What does Da Vinci and Judge Judy have to do with being a manager! We're suppose to sing about manager things!

Andre: Oh.

Firmin: And you're not old enough to have met Da Vinci anyway! That's just nonsense! What do you think?

Andre: I think you look like a Jeopardy champion!

Firmin: No I don't.

Andre: Do too.

Firmin: Do not!

Andre: You're making me want to play trivia.

Firmin: That's it! You're living with the Phantom!

Andre: Says who?

Firmin: Says the manager, that's who!

Andre: Oh yeah? Well I'm a manager too, so ha ha!

Firmin: You're in for it! (He begins to chase Andre around the room)

Andre: Yikes!

_And I've never ate a beetle_

_And I've never rode a go-kart_

_And I've never, ever have to have taken all the blame_

_And I've never have played go-fish_

_And I've never done graffiti!_

Firmin, stops chasing him and goes back to easy chair: You just don't get it!

Both: _And we've never seen a Boston Red Sox game!_

**A/N: I'd like to use this author note to say, if you like this, you might like some of my other fanfics, and I hope you'll read them. My two favorites are:**

**1. Inspector Clouseau Meets The Phantom - A pink panther/ POTO crossover. Sort of based on the 2006 movie, but even if you liked the old Peter Sellers ones, you'll still enjoy it! Complete!**

**2. A Disaster Beyond Your Imagination the rewrite! - PLEASE CHECK IT OUT AND REVIEW! An interesting story, if I say so myself. Seven years after the Phantom of the Opera incident, Raoul and Christine are married and have three children, but are told by Erik to leave each other or otherwise face a disaster. When they don't listen to the warning, Raoul is imprisoned by Erik, and basically enslaved as well. Before long, he is shipped to America with a few others by Erik, and he doesn't have any money. They must earn their way home, running into quite a few dilemas, including a man named Frederick who wants to kill them, and one of Raoul's children becoming incredibally sick and unable to afford medication. Lots of interesting twists! Please read and review! No one ever does so with this fanfic! In progress.**


	16. A Maiden Fair To See

**A/N: Thanks for all of those reviews! I hope you enjoy this one, and they'll be plenty more Gilbert and Sullivan songs to come! Go G&S!**

**A Maiden Fair To See - A parody of _A Maiden Fair To See_ from _HMS Pinafore_**

Raoul, in Christine's dressing room, sings to her:

_A maiden fair to see._

_A girl I love dearly._

_A flower filled with beauty._

_For whom I proudly sigh_

_And for whom I would die._

_Oh how I love her truly._

Some random guys behind the door: _Oh how he loves her truly!_

Raoul: _A suitor highly born_

_With hopeful passions born._

_Hopeful beyond denying!_

_I hope that she will find_

_I love her, for she is kind._

_My love is never dying._

Random guys: _His love is never dying._

Raoul:_ Christine, it's really me._

_That boy met by the sea._

_Christine, it is really me._

_How lucky can I be?_

_You're the girl that's by the sea_

_And I'm that little boy._

Raoul and random guys: _How lucky can I be?_

_You're the girl that's by the sea_

_And I'm that little boy._


	17. Model of a Phantom of the Opera

**A/N: Thanks to Andrew Laplante for this idea. For the time being, I have more requests than I know what to do with, so no more requests for the time being, please, especially because I'll be going back to school wicked soon, and I won't have as much time to do parodies. I also have another fanfic in progress, so I might not update for long stretches of time in a little bit.**

**I Am the Very Model of a Phantom of the Opera - A parody of _I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General _from _The Pirates of Penzance_**

Erik is up on the stage of the opera, explaining:

_I am the very model of a phantom of the opera._

_I've information on every opera they've ever done._

_I know it sounds quite strange, but I have won many battles with a lasso._

_I've won every single one, well, excluding the last one._

_I'm very good at creating new music for Christine to sing._

_I've murdered a man named Buquet with only a large piece of string!_

_About Don Juan Triumphant I am teeming_ _with a lot of news._

_(Pause)_

_With many cheerful facts about the sixteenth notes that I put in!_

Chorus: _With many cheerful facts about the sixteenth notes that he put in!_

_With many cheerful facts about the sixteenth notes that he put in!_

_With many cheerful facts about the sixteenth notes that he-he-he put in!_

Erik: _I'm very good at memorizing pieces by Mozart and Brahms._

_And though it's awkward, I know every flavor that is of lip balm!_

_In ev'ry theory ever made_

_Even those hidden in shade_

_I am the very model of a phantom of the opera!_

Chorus: _In ev'ry theory ever made _

_Even those hidden in shade_

_He is the very model of a phantom of the opera!_

Erik: _I know the op'ra's history._

_I've read about it all my life._

_I know about the construction_

_And some of the worker's strife._

_According to one book, the lake_ _was put here by mistake._

_According to another it's a myth and it's only fake._

_I can tell them what is right and what is obviously wrong._

_I can tell it to them plain or sing it in a quite long song._

_Afterward they fall asleep then tell me what a bore it can be. _

(Pause)

_And then I take off my mask and they all shrink in fear of me!_

Chorus: _And then I take off my mask and they all shrink in fear of me!_

_And then I take off my mask and they all shrink in fear of me!_

_And then I take off my mask and they all shrink in fear-fear-fear of me!_

Erik: _Then I can sing a water bill in a high octave or lower one._

_It just goes to show that living here is really fun!_

_In ev'ry theory ever made_

_Even those hidden by shade_

_I am the very model of a phantom of the opera._

Chorus: _In ev'ry theory ever made_

_Even those hidden by shade_

_He is the very model of a phantom of the opera!_

Erik: _In seconds I can tell you which actor is who from who_

_And wether to applaud or to rudely yell a loud, "Boo!"_

_At sight I know Carlotta from Meg, Giry's daughter_

_And Christine, 'cause you see, I'm the one that taught her._

_And I have learned what progress can be made with just a lone organ._

_I can memorize a song so fast, oh yes, you bet your life I can!_

_In short, I have great knowledge of music throughout the ages._

Ages? Nages, gages, dages. Now I have it!

_You'll say a better phantom won't compose so many great pages!_

Chorus: _You'll say a better phantom won't compose so many great pages!_

_You'll say a better phantom won't compose so many great pages!_

_You'll say a better phantom won't compose so many great-great-great pages!_

Erik: _Though my talent and my knowledge is such a wonderful gift_

_Some of the things people say are only but some simple myths._

_In every theory ever made_

_Even those hidden by shade_

_I am the very model of a phantom of the opera!_

Chorus: _In every theory ever made_

_Even those hidden by shade _

_He is the very model of a phantom of the opera._


	18. Never Mind the Why and Wherefore

**A/N: Thanks to Andrew Laplante for this request. Yes, I know, this is becoming over run with Gilbert and Sullivan. Hope you don't mind!**

**Never Mind the Why and Wherefore - A parody of _Never Mind the Why and Wherefore _from _HMS Pinafore_**

In Erik's house, Raoul and Erik are arguing over who should marry Christine.

Raoul: _Never mind the why and wherefore._

_She's the one to choose and therefore_

_Though your lasso may look mighty_

_But I can't say that about your brain._

_Though your house looks quite untidy_

_And your mind can be insane!_

Both: _Fighting you all day and all night._

_Loathing you with all my might._

_How I hate you for you're stealing_

_She, the humble fiddler's daughter!_

Raoul: _For his humble Swedish daughter._

Erik: _She's his gallant Swedish daughter._

Raoul: _And I met her by the water._

Erik: _And I'm the one who taught her!_

Both: _Let the air with hate be laden._

_Rend with strife the air above._

_For she is a pretty maiden._

_And _I'm_ the man who owns her love!_

Erik: _Never mind the why and wherefore._

_She's the one to choose and therefore_

_Though my lasso's not impressive,_

_I'm afraid you scarcely pass_

'_Cause she's looking for a man who teaches a great music class!_

Both: _Fighting you all day and all night._

_Loathing you with all my might._

_How I hate you for you're stealing_

_She the humble fiddler's daughter!_

Raoul: _For his humble Swedish daughter._

Erik: _She's his gallant Swedish daughter._

Raoul _And I met her by the water._

Erik: _And I'm the one who taught her._

Both: _Let the air with hate be laden._

_Rend with strife the air above._

_For she is a pretty maiden_

_And _I'm_ the man who owns her love!_

Christine enters and notices the quarrel. She interrupts, singing:

_Never mind the why and wherefore._

_I'm the one to choose and therefore_

_You are both such real good men_

_But which of you is great?_

_I hope whichever one he is,_

_He'll give me a good fate!_

Raoul and Erik: _Fighting you all day and all night._

_Loathing you with all my might._

_How I hate for you're stealing_

_She, the humble fiddler's daughter._

Raoul: _For his humble Swedish daughter._

Erik: _She's his gallant Swedish daughter._

Raoul:_ And I met her by the water._

Erik: _And I'm the one that taught her._

Christine: _Let the air with joy be laden._

Raoul: _No, it's filled with strife instead!_

Christine: _You two think I'm a pretty maiden._

Erik: _That is the whole point of this fight!_

All: _Rend with songs the air above_

_To the man who owns her love._

_Rend with songs the air above_

_To the man who owns her love!_


	19. As Someday It May Happen

**A/N: Thanks to Andrew Laplante for this request.**

**As Someday It May Happen - A parody of _As Someday It May Happen_****from _The Mikado_**

Andre and Firmin are in their office after the death of Piangi, contemplating who should take his place. Andre then takes out a list from his pocket and sings:

_As someday it may happen that an actor must be found_

_I've got a little list._

_I've got a little list._

_There are plenty little people who audition by the pound._

_They never could be missed._

_They never could be missed._

_There are some who just can't wait to sign their first few autographs_

_Or those who have those ugly hands or irritating laughs_

_And children who think they can sing but actu'ly sing flat_

_And others who shake on stage_

_Shake on the stage like that!_

(He trembles as though he is stage fright)

_And all these people who want to act, oh how they do insist._

_Oh, none of them are missed._

_Oh, none of them are missed._

Firmin: _You've got them on the list._

_You've got them on the list._

_And none of them are missed._

_Oh, none of them are missed._

Andre: _There's the guy who plays the banjo_

_And the guy who won the race_

_And the stupid organist._

_I've got him on the list._

_And the guy who loves his peppermint and puffs it in my face._

_He never would be missed._

_He never would be missed._

_And the idiot who does sad scenes in enthusiastic tones_

_And the man who only praises scenes he does all him own_

_And the lady from Notre Dame who wants to have a try_

_Who never ever dances but thinks that she will try_

_And the singular sensation who's also a novelist._

_I don't think she'd be missed!_

_I'm sure she'd not be missed!_

Firmin: _You've got her on the list._

_You've got her on the list_

_And I'm sure she'd not be missed._

_I'm sure she'd not be missed._

Andre: _And the funny little nuisance who's quite a shocking sight._

_The real stupid humorist._

_Of course he's on the list!_

_There's silly guys and dancing girls and clowns without a life!_

_Oh, none of them are missed._

_Oh, none of them are missed._

_And a strong-willed strict business-man with a compromising mind_

_And there's what-ya-call-it_

_Thing-ma-bob_

_And likewise, oh, just never mind._

_Oh, tut, tut, tut_

_What is his name?_

_And also . . ._

_Shhh! You know who!_

_The task of filling up these blanks I might just leave to you._

_But does it really matter whom you put upon the list?_

_For none of them be missed._

_Oh, none of them be missed._

Firmin: _You may put them on the list._

_You may put them on the list._

_For none of them be missed._

_For none of them be missed!_


	20. No New Scheme

**A/N: Thanks to The-Blondstar for this request**

**No New Scheme - A parody of _No Good Deed _from _Wicked_**

The day after Joseph Buquet was strangled by Erik, Firmin and Andre are in their office, trying to figure out what to do about him.

Andre: It's so annoying! He wrecks everything!

Firmin: I know, but I think I know a way to stop him! It goes like this, Andre, listen closely:

_No new scheme goes unpunished!_

_No new act of murder will soon be forgiven!_

_No new scheme goes unpunished._

_That's our new creed!_

_All his clever schemes hurt our profits._

_That's the way it seems!_

_No new scheme goes unpunished!_

_Erik._

_His name is Erik._

_Oh Erik!_

_Oh Erik!_

_One question haunts us both._

_Is it too much to mention?_

_Is he just seeking revenge_

_Or just seeking attention?_

_Is that all his schemes are when looked at by the public's eye?_

_If that's all his schemes are_

_Maybe that's the reason why_

_No new scheme goes unpunished!_

_We've got to get rid of him while we have the chance!_

_No new scheme goes unpunished!_

_He can't mean well,_

_Our tickets will never sell._

_We've had enough!_

_Enough now!_

_Enough now, then!_

_Let us two be agreed_

_He's wicked through and through_

_But he will not succeed._

_Erik, we're after you!_

_We promise you no new scheme will you ever plan to do again!_

_Ever again!_

_No new scheme will you dooooooooooo agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!_


	21. The Phantom

**The Phantom - A parody of _Tradition _from _Fiddler on the Roof_**

Andre, on the stage, announces:

A phantom of the opera! Sounds crazy, right? Well in our world-renowned Opera, people believe that there really is a phantom! Do I? Well, of course I do! He wants 20,000 francs every month! Why do others believe? Where was the myth started? Who knows, but I have a few opinions from people who do believe!

(Walks over to Firmin, who is one the stage).

Firminand Andre: _The phantom! The phantom!_

_The phantom!_

_The phantom!_

_The phantom!_

_The phantom!_

_The phantom!_

Firmin: _Who, day and night, must ruin all the op'ras,_

_Steal our ever franc,_

_Hurt our status with the bank!_

_And who hates it so_

'_Cause everywhere I go_

_He's constantly there haunting me!_

Andre and Firmin: _Managers! Managers!_

_The phantom!_

_Managers! Managers!_

_The phantom!_

(Andre walks over to Raoul)

Raoul: _Who must know the way to kidnap my Christine?_

_It is obscene!_

_Oh how obscene!_

_Who is it this maniac want to kill_

_So he is free to live without him there?_

Andre and Raoul: _The patron! The patron!_

_The phantom!_

_The patron! The patron!_

_The phantom!_

(Andre walks over to the ballerinas)

Ballerinas: _At three, he haunted my nightmares._

_It gave me quite a scare._

_And still I think he stalks about._

_Oh how I hate him!_

Andre and Ballerinas: _The dancers! The dancers!_

_The phantom!_

_The dancers! The dancers!_

_The phantom!_

(Andre walks over to the orchestra pit)

Orchestra: _And why is it we learn_

_To play this crazed _Don Juan?

_I hate these stupid songs._

_They sound as if they're wrong!_

Andre and orchestra: _Musicians! Musicians!_

_The phantom!_

_Musicians! Musicians!_

_The phantom!_


	22. SeventySix Trumpets

**A/N: Thank you, reviewers. I really appreciate it.**

**Seventy-Six Trumpets - A parody of _Seventy-Six Trombones _from _The Music Man_**

Andre walks up on stage after getting an idea during a rehearsal at the Opera:

Andre: _Please folks, can I have your attention please?_

_Attention please._

_I can deal with a troubled cast with a wave of my hand,_

_Yes, my right hand._

_Please observe me and stay still._

_I'm Gilles Andre, if you will._

_And I'm here to reorganize our great big orchestra!_

_Oh, think, good friends, how can any soprano ever compete with a new trombone?_

_Raa-Raa-Ra-Ti-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Raa-Raa!_

_Remember good friends what a couple of trumpet players did to the giant big walls of Jericho!_

_Oh, the great opera walls come a tumblin' down!_

_Oh a new band will do, my friends._

_Oh, yes, I said a new band, did you hear me?_

_I said the Opera needs a new band and I mean she needs it today!_

_And with me, Gilles Andre on hand,_

_The Opera's gonna have a new band,_

_And as sure as that we are in France,_

_And that band's gonna have a uniform!_

_Freddy, William, Bobby, Ted._

_And you'll see the glitter of shining trumpets_

_And hear the thunder of our new drums!_

_And the shimmer of trombones!_

_Ta-Ta-Ra!_

_And you'll feel something close to the hysteria and thrill_

_Like we all can enjoy when Mozart, Tchaikovsky, the great Beethoven, Brahms, and even Arthur Sullivan are all honored with our great, historic band!_

_Seventy-six trumpets play the overture_

_With a hundred-and-ten flutists playing fine!_

_They will play rows and rows_

_Of the finest musicals_

_Just like all those very famous bands!_

_Seventy-six trumpets caught the public's eye_

_With a hundred-and-ten flutists right behind._

_There are more than a thousand reeds_

_For they're what we need._

_They'll be horns of every shape and kind!_

_There are lots of great instruments with great musicians._

_Thundering, thundering the whole entire way._

_All of them have talent, oh yes, much talent,_

_Everyone having their big fat say!_

_There are people who have played instruments all their life._

_Thundering, thundering louder, yes I'm sure!_

_Great trombones in every size and also they can improvise a whole octave higher than the score!_

Orchestra: _Seventy-six trumpets lead our great new band!_

_While a hundred-and-ten flutists play, okay!_

_To the rhythm of "play, play, play!"_

_We all begin to play_

_So let's start to play right away!_


	23. Great Big Songs

A/N: After awhile, I finally wrote this song. I noticed that Haley Macrae requested this song. So I completely fell in love with Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and has earned its place as one of my top ten favorite musicals, and then wrote this! Please review!

**Great Big Songs – (Great Big Stuff from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels)**

_Erik:_

_I thought I'd seen it all. _

_I though I knew the score._

_But right down here I've found a world I've never seen before._

_Thought I knew where I belong._

_A life without some class._

_But here comes Christine and now there's music every place I pass!_

_What do I want?_

_I want her!_

_Yes, I want her!_

_I know I have a real gift._

_Musical talent fits._

_But Erik's gettin' ready now to give his life a lift._

_I'm tired of having this face._

_Be like the human race._

_Christine wrapped up in my arms despite my ugly face!_

_I'll write great big songs!_

_This is how I gotta live!_

_Great big songs!_

_No, no, no alternative!_

_Great big songs!_

_I want my Christine, ooh!_

_I need her right now and I better get her soon!_

_I want a mansion with a moat_

_Around which we will float._

_And a few different kinds of amazingly large boats._

_A house that's close to the sea._

_And lots of good Chinese tea._

_But how do I get here?_

_Oh, my friends, you should never fear!_

_I'll write great big songs!_

_I really do deserve it!_

_Great big songs!_

_With servants who will serve it!_

_Great big songs!_

_Do I give a damn what it's for?_

_Every day's my birthday_

_Every night is my bar mitzvah!_

_Oh give me a home where my love Christine roams!_

_And I don't need a loan,_

_We've got a fortune going on!_

_The op'ra has us over_

_To sing about a twister_

_Oh, you know this is the life I really want to live, mister!_

_Great big songs!_

_Andre will love me!_

_Great big songs!_

_Get me a contract, Firmin!_

_Great big songs!_

_Hanging in the city_

_Christine's pretty in the carriage with me and a new star and prima donnas and whatever!_

_I'll change my name too!_

_Who wants a name like Erik? _

_The islands in the winter._

_And France in the hot summer._

_When I think about it I say it can't be a bummer!_

_The cash to keep us happy._

_The music makes us snappy._

_And traveling around the globe which makes us take a nap-py!_

_Great big songs!_

_Oh nothing that is crappy!_

_Great big songs!_

_They make the crowd so happy!_

_Great big songs!_

_Some so sad, and some so snappy!_

_Great big songs!_

_I'll write some really crazy stuff!_

_Great big songs!_

_Like Don Juan Triumphant!_

_Great big songs!_

_Or my own personal theme song! _

_Great big songs!_

_Some that are just plain wrong!_

_Great big songs!_

_Some that are great for a Broadway show!_

_Great big songs!_

_Great big sooooooooooooooooooooongs!_

_I just want the crowd to love me . . ._

_For my music!_

_Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!_


	24. If I Had A Nice Face

A/N: Thanks for the request whoever did request this. (Sorry, can't remember!) Please review!

If I Had a Nice Face – to the tune of If I Were a Rich Man

_Erik:_

_If I had a nice face_

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la_

_I wouldn't live in the sewer system._

_If my face wasn't so gross._

_Wouldn't have a mask on._

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la._

_If I weren't so badly distorted._

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la._

_I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen_

_Right in the middle of Paris._

_A real fine roof with beautiful floors below._

_There would be plenty of stairs that go right on up_

_It would be such a sight to see._

_So what, I'm a dreamer._

_It goes to show . . ._

_I'd fill the world with music composed by me_

_And shows so you'll all see and hear._

_With singers singing as beautifully as they can._

_And you'll hear:_

_La! La! La! Laaaaaa!_

_Going right through your ear._

_And Christine would be singing every time._

_Oh, if I had a nice face._

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la._

_I wouldn't live in the sewer system._

_If my face wasn't so gross._

_Wouldn't have a mask on._

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la._

_If I weren't so badly distorted._

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la._

_I see my wife_

_My Christine looking like a proper wife_

_Singing a wonderful G._

_Supervising songs to her hearts' delight._

_I see her strutting around, proudly like a peacock._

_Oh my, what a happy mood she's in._

_Studying my great music day and night._

_The most important men in town will come and ask for me._

_They will ask me to teach them_

_My great musical skills._

_If you please, Monsieur Erik!_

_Please, Monsieur Erik!_

_And I'll teach them, don't you doubt it that I will!_

_And it won't make one bit a difference if I teach them right or wrong._

_When handsome, they think you really know._

_When I'm handsome I'll have no time that I have_

_To use the op'ra as my prey._

_But does it matter?_

_I'll have Christine by side, you know._

_And I'll discuss music theory with my dear Christine for hours every day._

_That will be the sweetest gift of all._

_Oh!_

_If I had a nice face._

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la._

_I wouldn't live in the sewer system_

_If I my face weren't so gross._

_Wouldn't have a mask on._

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la._

_Lord who made the lion and the lamb._

_You decreed I should be what I am._

_Would it spoil some vast, eternal plan?_

_If I were a handsome man!_


	25. Christine

Christine – (To the tune of Sandy from Grease)

After Erik watches Christine leave with Raoul, he sings:

_Stranded in the sewer._

_How did it happen? How?_

_What will she be_

_Ten years from now?_

_Christine_

_Can't you see?_

_I'm in misery._

_Made a start._

_Now we're apart._

_Now what is left for me?_

_Said good-bye,_

_But now I cry._

_I sit and wonder why, why, why, oh why_

_You'd leave me._

_Oh Christine._

_Oh Christine, darling!_

_Someday!_

_When your husband is dead._

_Somehow_

_Someway_

_I see we will be wed._

_Where's heaven?_

_It's no where!_

_Not with you and me._

_Oh please say you'll stay,_

_Oh Christine._

_Christine my darling._

_You hurt me so bad._

_You know it's true._

_But baby, you've got to believe me when I say._

_I'm helpless without you._

_Said good-bye_

_But now I cry._

_I sit and wonder why, why, why, oh why_

_You'd leave me._

_Oh Christine._

_Christine!_

_Christine!_

_Christine!_

_Why, why, why, why, why?_

_Oh, Christine._


End file.
